Falling in love is easy. We all do at one time or another. But lasting love is a very different story. Is your relationship with a new "special friend" one that's likely, or meant, to last? These exercises from a world leader in relationship education can help you find out.
Try these exercises, in order.
|Are you both good listeners? If not, it's important, and not difficult, to learn.||Being able to talk to each other is the foundation of relationships. Good listeners makes it safe for others to confide. See how you each score and if there's room for improvement.||Five to 10 minutes
Answer a few questions about how you listen and then get feedback.
|PAIRS Good Listening App|
|How well do you communicate when you're stressed, upset, or frustrated?||It's easy to be a good communicator when there's no stress involved. But long-term relationships include many upsetting situations to get through. Find out each other's stress styles and learn to become "Levelers."||Five to 10 minutes
Identify your stress styles and then learn a style that promotes good communication even in stressful situations.
|PAIRS Stress Styles App|
|Can you both make strengthening the relationship a daily priority?||When it comes to protecting relationships, good intentions are a great beginning, but it's important to care for the relationship each day if you want to make and keep it strong. Find out if you're both willing and able to make each other and your relationship a priority.||25 to 30 minutes
Learn the steps of the Daily Temperature Reading and then share your first "DTR" in an email or in person. Continue doing this daily.
|PAIRS DTR App|
|What will it take to build a high balance in your relationship Love Bank account?||The emotion of love come from feeling cared about and valued in your interactions with others. Explore and share what's important for each of you and how you can build a high balance in your relationship Love Bank.||15 to 30 minutes
Consider each of 50 actions and rate whether or not they leave you feeling cared about. Exchange lists and begin making building a high balance.
|PAIRS Love Bank App|
|How well are you each able to share and listen to each other's concerns or complaints?||Differences are a normal part of every close relationship. How you both deal with differences is often much more important than the issues themselves. Lasting love requires being able to deal with differences in ways that bring you closer.||10 to 20 minutes
Confide a concern you have and ask for what you want instead. Discover what it's like to become aware of differences and how you each respond.
|When people commit themselves to each other, they agree to behave in a trusting manner. What are the lines you each agree not to cross?||Boundaries are a necessary part of creating unquestioned trust. That means being able to give your heart to each other for safekeeping with confidence it will not be broken.||20 to 30 minutes
See how you score on the jealousy checklist and then explore the roots of jealousy to make sure you don't get caught in a destructive web that can drive anyone crazy.